youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
