OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
