Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
