you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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