Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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