so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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