Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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