Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
