Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
No subtext here. People are naked.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize