so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
