the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
