This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
