i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
