I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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