You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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