I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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