I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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