If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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