I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
