Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
