I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
