okay pat passed out under dana's car
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
