I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize