I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
