I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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