i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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