Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize