I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
