As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
