i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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