Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The feeling are messing with the penis
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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