Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
