i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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