Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
