She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
