The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he was CRYING into my vagina
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
This toilet bowl is my home.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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