Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky š
Heās older
Like āhas a job and pays his billsā older or āstill watches porn on DVD because he canāt figure out the Internetā older?
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