i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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