i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
NoShamevember. You game?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
