Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
