Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
