So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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