God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
