very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
