she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize