so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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