Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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