Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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