no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
