we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
