tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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