I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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