real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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