i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
