I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
