all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
