I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
