If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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