dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize