And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
