He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
