at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
