She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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