ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
