if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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