Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
