If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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