I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
