we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
