I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
