Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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