Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
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